The Divinity of Politics

The three key British political leaders, Nick Clegg, David Cameron and Gordon Brown go to Heaven to visit God to watch the Cup Final. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question.

God asks David Cameron first: “What do you believe David?”

David thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I’ve always tried to do right by my electorate.”

God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Cameron, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Nick Clegg and asks “Nick, what do you believe?”

Nick says “I believe passion, discipline, goodness and honour are the fundamentals of life. I too have been lucky, but win or lose, I have always tried to be a true politician, both inside and outside my political life. God is moved by Nick’s sincerity and eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right.

Finally God turns to Gordon Brown, “And you, Gordon, what do you believe?”

Gordon looks at God and responds “I believe you’re in my seat.”

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