Home Already

Joseph arrives home from work promptly at 6pm as he does each day and as soon as he steps through his front door, his wife Miriam starts yelling at him.

“Why don’t you ever wipe your feet before walking into the house? ….. I thought you said you were coming home at lunch time today …… Where’s the shopping I asked you to get on the way home? ….. Don’t you ever think of buying me shabbos flowers, like you used to do?”

This incessant criticism, nagging and complaining goes on for nearly 2 hours – nothing Joseph says or does seems to be right by her.

By 8pm, Joseph has had enough. But he knows better than to have a go at Miriam so he tries a more tactical approach.

“Darling,” he says, “Please – let’s start again. I’ll go back outside and shut the door. Then I’ll open the door and come in. We can then pretend I’ve just come home. What do you think?”

“OK,” she replies.

So Joseph puts on his coat, goes outside, shuts the door, waits a minute, opens the door, and steps in with a smile on his face.

He immediately announces, in a musical tone, “Oh darling, I’m home.”

“And just where have you been?” says Miriam, “It’s past eight o’clock!”

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