When I was young I wanted to be older but now I have realised that age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Going to your church doesn’t make you holy any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If you’re too open minded, your brains fall out.
Bills travel through the mail at ten times the speed of cheques.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
I am looking too much like my passport picture. I definitely need a holiday.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Above all, If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.