My New Security System

I had been having a few problems with burglaries over the past year or so. So in July this year I went to the charity shop and bought a pair of men’s size 14 work boots.

I placed said boots on my front porch, along with several empty beer cans, and several copies American Guns & Ammo magazines

I went to the local pet store and bought several giant dog dishes and placed them strategically next to the boots and magazines.

I put a note on the door that reads: “Hey Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I’ve gone to get more ammunition. Back in an hour.

Guys – don’t mess with the pit bulls – they attacked the postman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS – I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside!”

The good news is I have not been robbed since July.

The bad news is that I have been arrested for several public disorder violations.

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