An English tourist arrives in Texas, he gets off the bus in Fort Worth, and asks the driver, “where’s a good place to eat?”
Behind him a fellow traveller suggests: “Right down the road is a men’s club! Go for it.”
So our friend walks into the restaurant door and said to the waitress, “Lady, bring me a steak and a coke.”
The waitress returns with a mug that is 12 inches in diameter and 18 inches tall.
The Englishman retorts, “I just asked for a coke, not the whole bloomin factory!”
“Mister, this is Texas and everything’s bigger in Texas” says the waitress who later returns with his steak. It was a huge steak and it hung over all sides of a huge sizzling platter.
“Lady, I just wanted a steak, not the whole cow!”
She said, “Mister, this is Texas, and everything’s bigger in Texas.”
He finally finished his meal and the coke and inevitably asked the waitress, “Which way to the toilet?”
She said, “It’s down the hall, third door on the right.”
The Englishman absentmindedly turned into the third door on the left and, with one step, fell into the swimming pool.
“Help! Help!” he screamed. “Please don’t flush it!”