George wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I am glad to see you’ve regained consciousness.
“Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. I can assure you you’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything. But sadly, something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and the police and paramedics we were unable to find it.”
On hearing this news George groans, but the doctor goes on.
“The good news, however, is that you’ve got £9000 in compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did – better in fact!
“But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s £1000 an inch.”
George perks up on hearing this.
“So,” the doctor says, ‘it’s for you to decide how many inches you want to go for. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife Mildred. For example if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.”
George agrees to discuss this with Mildred at her next visit.
The doctor comes back the next day.
“So,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?”
“I have,” says George.
“And has she helped you in making the right decision?”
“She has,” says George. We’re getting a new kitchen.”