* It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s whether or not you have a date after the game.
* Too many cooks make the kitchen crowded.
* Violence is never a solution – it does not even come in liquid form.
* You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but it’s funny as hell to watch them struggle.
* A child’s smile can warm the heart – until that is, you find out what they’re smiling about.
* If man can build it, then woman can find it on sale somewhere.
* It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what they think you’ve got.
* No man is an island – but I’d make one hell of a peninsula.
* When death comes calling, ask if you can take a message.