Grave Humour

The following are humorous messages written on tombstones…enjoy!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

—————————————————-

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

—————————————————-

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the Good Die Young.

—————————————————-

In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

—————————————————-

In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.

—————————————————-

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.

—————————————————-

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.

—————————————————-

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

—————————————————-

In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

—————————————————-

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

—————————————————-

In a Hartscombe, England cemetery:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

—————————————————-

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

—————————————————-

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

—————————————————-

In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I’ll not consent
Until I know which way you went.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s