A child custody case was being held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn’t decide to whom he should grant full custody.
So he asks the little boy, “Would you like to live with your mother?”
“No.” said the boy.
“Why not?” said the judge.
“Because she beats me.”
The judge says “Okay, then you’ll go live with your father.”
“Oh no,” cried the boy, “he beats me too.”
Dumbfounded, the judge asks “Okay who do you want to live with?”
“I want to live with the English Football Team!”
“Why?” asks the judge.
“They never beat anybody.”