I have always been a fatty.I was chubby as a schoolboy and used to be teased mercilessly by the slimmer, normal boys.
But when I left home and went to university my weight moderated and by the end of the first year my weight was 11 ½ stone which is only moderately above average for my height.
In my twenties my weight crept up steadily and I passed 13 stone before I was thirty.
Then I caught chicken pox from children and I gave up smoking and eating so much. I lost so much weight that at one point I was less than 10 stone and could have worked as a Jockey.
But the weight again slipped back on, and 13 stone was again seen and 14 stone was on the horizon by my mid thirties.
I then went to work in America again and my marriage broke down.
Several months on a diet consisting mainly of Chablis and peanuts I again lost weight and was below 12 stone.
I returned to the UK and lived the life of a bachelor. I ate sensibly but my weight crept up slowly.
By my fortieth birthday I was closer to 13 stone and two years later I remarried.
My weight crept up past 14 ½ stone by the time I was 50.
Then I started to lose weight quite rapidly. At 53 I was under 13 stone again. That is when they identified that I had type 2 diabetes.
I was told to cut out sugary things, sugar in hot drinks (I have never had sugar in a hot drink), cakes and puddings (which I rarely had), sweets and, dammit, nuts.
When my sugar levels did not drop they put me onto tablets which worked.
But then the weight didn’t so much slip on – it took a running jump at me and stuck. By the time I was 55 I passed 16 stone.
I have moderated my eating and at 60 I am just over 15 stone.
Then surprise surprise, a few weeks ago they announced that some people have this double fat gene and this means that some people just put on weight whilst others do not.
This is just plain annoying. I can tell you that we people who have a tendency to put on weight have known about fat genes instinctively all their lives.
I fact I used to joke that I had two types of fat Genes – those in my body and those on my body (OK this is better said than written, I refer of course to fat jeans).
So now I wait for the medical breakthrough when they prescribe a magic drug which modifies you fat genes to a slim version.
Now that’s what I would call a slimline tonic.
Copyright © Stuart Danton 2007