Christmas Risk Assessment by EU Health & Safety Committee

It is time to report the committee’s post season assessment of the popular Christmas Carols.

While shepherds watch their flocks by night

It is highly undesirable for all the shepherds to watch their flocks by night. To avoid excessive working hours, the shepherds should either have a rota, or use an out of hours provider.

This line should preferably be modified to avoid encouraging a long hours culture.

All seated on the ground

Due to the controlled nature of the lie of the land, it is unlikely that the ground will provide an ergonomically suitable position.

Properly designed seating should be used and the line should be modified to reflect this.

The angel of the Lord came down

To avoid a miss-diagnosis as a schizophrenic experience, it is important to ensure that this visit is properly documented, either as a file note signed by the angel or through photographic evidence.

And glory shone around

In the absence of adequate research about the effects of such divine glory on the retina, it is suggested that exposure be limited to 15 minutes.

Once in royal David’s City stood lowly cattle shed, where a mother laid her baby in a manger for a bed

The Nursing & Midwifery Council has confirmed that in no circumstances can this practice be endorsed, due to the risk of neo-natal tetanus.

This carol should not be used as it is in breach of Child Protection policies.

Away in a manager, no crib for a bed

These lines should be modified to comply with Child Protection policies

The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head

In view of current child obesity problems, the word ’sweet’ should not be used to imply adorability.

A less semantically challenging word, such as ‘cute’ should be used instead. It is also important that the correct sleeping position be emphasised as a footnote to this carol.

Ding Dong Merrily On High & Hark The Herald Angels Sing

Reference to noise abatement regulations should be added in both cases.

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay

The word ‘merry’ could be taken to imply the consumption of excessive quantities of alcohol and, therefore, this could be seen as an endorsement of binge drinking.

The second line, however, demonstrates the over-confidence induced by excessive alcohol consumption and the carol is therefore potentially educative if linked to the appropriate educational material.

It should not be used in other settings.

Good King Wenceslas looked out

This is seriously an irresponsible carol, encouraging senior managers to leave their posts during a major adverse weather incident in order to embark on a dangerous quest to rescue a single individual. Hence putting a member of their staff (ie the Page) at risk in the same ill-founded endeavour.

Had Wenceslas attended properly to his duties, then he could have arranged for the clearance of the snow from the forest roads, allowing Social Security officials to reach the poor man in the normal way.

This carol should not be used except as a negative example in a training exercise.